We have had a really rough few weeks, things feel like they are spinning a bit out of control and the life we live is just moment to moment and solely based on how we manage our little boy. We live to make him happy, keep him happy, not upset him, keep him healthy, alive, safe, safe from himself… the list goes on.
Why do I keep feeling like this story wont have a happy ending? I put all my heart, faith, hope, passion, fight and heartbeat into making this all work, but how do you define success when this is so hard everyday? Is it how many happy moments you can count vs the tears, the frustration, the anxiety, the fear, the pain, the relentless work, hours and hours on the phone, your feet from being a carer 24/7… how do you know when you are living your life, a life anymore?
I’m so scared I wont be able to protect him. I am so scared I am failing him and this whole thing. I dont know if anything we are doing is right or helping or hurting. My heart is so broken. Please let there be a rainbow soon, or just even a light.
A Journey to Joy 