when no one else around you or outside of your four walls, knows or has any idea, that each single day is facing a constant survival of one minute to the next. egg shells, recovery, meltdowns, breakages, spills, injury, tears, laughter, breathing, anxiety, fatigue, brief moments of still, then chaos and then eggshells and the cycle. the constant cycle, the nappies, the laundry, the puree, the planning of the puree, the feeding, the gagging, the refusal, the throwing of the spoon, the clean up, the stained clothes, the moment of participation with a cheer, oh no, you cant cheer… dont make a big deal of it, feeding therapy says to not celebrate it, dont put pressure on, dont overstimulate, dont think, dont rush, dont breathe, dont relax, dont stop. over and over and over.
we survived another day, hope tomorrow is less of this and more of that. stay hopeful. gees it was good when he tried once or twice to self feed. but shit i celebrated and screwed it up. i must remember to do that better tomorrow.
A Journey to Joy 