when you allow your most vulnerable emotions to lay bare, when you always give love and support unconditionally, then when you need some care of your own, some one to ask and reassure you and just check in on you, at your lowest. there is silence. what does that mean? when your worth isnt evenContinue reading “when your worth is measured in silence”
Tag Archives: coffinsiriswarrior
take away all the things, then tell me
if you took away social events, regular sleep, sleeping past dawn, your silence, your me time, your cleaning time, your work time, your life admin time, holidays, weekends away, dinners at restaurants, brunches, walks, swims at the beach, a tidy house for longer 25 mins, unbroken walls, unbroken phones, eating together, seeing friends in normal places,Continue reading “take away all the things, then tell me”
stuck in the middle
its the week between xmas and a new year, we cant really go anywhere and we cant really keep the house clean or do many chores at home as our son cant stop moving around, unpacking, messing, screaming, repeating things over and over. it is a daily routine and joint effort of the entire familyContinue reading “stuck in the middle”
When you realise you have a special hybrid child, and you are luckier than the rest of the ordinary world
You cant find this feeling or this moment when you are in the thick of complex health care issues. I couldnt have found and felt this feeling whilst we were fighting to keep our son alive. You just are on complete critical care mode, so finding the clarity of the place your loved one existsContinue reading “When you realise you have a special hybrid child, and you are luckier than the rest of the ordinary world”
stopping and watching and breathing and realising he isn’t going to be this small ever again. but will always be my best buddy. always.
We have just been to therapy. We went to physical therapy, its our usual twice a week appointment. We remembered and we made it sort of on time. Sort of. 4 minutes late today. Last week the roads were flooding. We missed the therapy appt. I keep getting caught up in the afternoon rush ofContinue reading “stopping and watching and breathing and realising he isn’t going to be this small ever again. but will always be my best buddy. always.”
this season is…
hard to watch, hard to hear, feel, see, repeat and repeat and repeat todays chat to the doctor was hard. reset your expectations. reset your self care. accept his journey, reset your anxiety. reset reset reset. how when who, to let him live so agitated and so upset and so unpredictable, live while he survives,Continue reading “this season is…”
THICK OF IT
Just when you think, this is hard, this is crazy, this must be the thick of it…suddenly it gets thicker. Medications, NDIS reviews, restrictive practices, all of it is coming in hard and fast and changing and then the same. Same is worse than better, same is worse than worse. I think the variation givesContinue reading “THICK OF IT”
When you aren’t ok, but you have no choice, where does it end
**EDIT to note: This post below was written and in draft since July. I never posted it. I dont know why. Probably because posting it was the exact same cycle of “help/acknowledgment/silence/you need to feel differently feedback, that this post was essentially about. But this is how it feels, some days thick and so deep,Continue reading “When you aren’t ok, but you have no choice, where does it end”
Every choice seems like the wrong one
Maybe this is a normal thing for every parent or every mum, but why does it feel like every single day, every reasonably significant choice to do with your children’s health or education or happiness or safety, feels like its guaranteed to be the wrong one. Is this a sign of anxiety and PTSD? OrContinue reading “Every choice seems like the wrong one”
Then all of a sudden, it seemed to happen
For years and years, months , weeks, days on and off, then a break, then days, then weeks we would try and encourage our amazing son to feed himself. He’s never wanted to touch food, hold food, look at food, be near food, never self feed. For whatever reason, I had to capture this nightContinue reading “Then all of a sudden, it seemed to happen”
A Journey to Joy 